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Saturday, 15 November 2008

  • The Secret Girlfriend Weapon!

    According to a study, there’s a love habit that’s crucial to the health of your union: focusing on each other’s good qualities. Of course, that’s easier said than done. It’s normal to see more of your guy’s flaws over time — the key is not letting them infringe on your affection. “If you can organize your thoughts around his strengths, you’ll concentrate on him as a whole instead of on his imperfections,” says study author John Holmes, PhD, professor of social psychology at the University of Waterloo. He found that couples who do this stay together longer.

    We’re not suggesting you try to love his annoying behavior. But you can learn to flip your thinking so you look to the positive. Here, three ways to master the girlfriend mind trick.

    Prove Yourself Wrong
    When you’re bugged by something small your guy has done, it may not be that action that’s getting under your skin — something may be eating away at you on a deeper level. By figuring out what that is, you can shift your thinking so you’re less agitated.

    First, question why you’re upset. For example, say he takes hours to reply to your texts, and you assume he doesn’t care about you. “Find evidence that proves you wrong,” suggests Los Angeles therapist Shannon Fox, PhD. Maybe he asked about an important meeting you had or wrote you the sweetest card. “Pointing out the contrary helps keep the annoyance in proportion,” notes Fox.

    Temper the Trash Talk
    “Women bond by comparing their relationships — and all the accompanying problems — among one another,” says Fox. While chiming in with the “Oh, and then my guy did this...” chorus can be cathartic, constantly smashing him only puts you in a negative mind-set for the next time you see him. But never bitching is unrealistic, so if you’re going to complain, counter it with something great about him to keep it fair, says Fox. For example: “I hate when Mike gives one-word answers, but he does plan great dates, so it’s a fair trade.” This lets you connect with your pals but puts him in a balanced, realistic light in your mind.

    ID the Upside
    Whatever your dude does that makes you crazy, find the silver lining. He’s sloppy? Think about how this can benefit you. “Look at his messiness as synonymous with being laid-back and not controlling,” says Alon Gratch, PhD, author of If Men Could Talk. So he’ll probably let you make decisions like how to decorate the apartment. Niiice.

    Another example: He’s not a talker. “Silent types tend to be calm and logical, which is good for you because he can help you sort out your problems in a reasonable way,” notes Gratch.

    Just remember: In the end, you really do have a good catch.

    By Victoria Lucia

Wednesday, 29 October 2008

  • Activism

    I'm an activist. So what?! I hate injustice and I hate corruption. I see it everyday in the Filipino streets as I struggle to find my first job after graduating from college. It's hell for me to try to find a decent job right now but I know others are going through a tougher time more than what I can imagine.

    A lot has changed in me ever since I came back to the Philippines. I guess it comes with maturing and finding the things that we give priority in our lives as young adults and future leaders in this so-called society.

    Lately, I've been reading about stuff... A lot about Marxism, Socialism and Communism. I love it. I love his ideology, though I must say I don't embrace all of Marx's beliefs. But generally, I think his ideas would be great help for the Philippines right now. I hope that we will find trustworthy politicians soon. Everyone seems to be corrupt in the senate.

    Another thing I've realized about me is that I have this hate-thing going on with Filipinos going abroad. I hate Filipinos who "escape" this third-world to find better lives for themselves. Who would help the Philippines if everybody leaves? I dislike Filipinos going to the US in search of "greener pastures." They're no use to the Filipinos at all (except for their remittances to the country). LOL.

    And finally, I now fully accept being an activist. It's only right. I believe that true service is found in the streets and not in the church. Jesus was rarely in church during his ministry. This is what we all should do. If we call ourselves Christians, then we should, at all cost, follow Jesus' footsteps. I'd rather gather with other rally-goers on the streets than stay in church. I cannot bear to be enclosed within four walls anymore. No more praise and worship for me (not that I am saying it's bad or anything). I used to enjoy it but I find it trivial to ministry these days. People need a Jesus in you rather than witnessing a charismatic who jumps and leaps with joy singing praise and worship songs. Jesus didn't jump and leap for joy singing at the top of His lungs at church. He got busy healing the sick, driving evil spirits away, raising the dead and such. He taught and fed a multitude with only five loaves and two fish outside the synagogue. My goodness, faith without action is dead.

Friday, 26 September 2008

  • I love shoes and I have a habit of comparing the various colors, forms and styles. Flats and heels used to appeal equally to me. But over time, I found out that certain heels can cause a lot of health problems such as back ache and the shortening of the calve muscles. On the other hand, flats seem more comfortable to wear and much lighter to carry around. That's why I like flats more than heels.

    I have another habit-comparing myself to other people. Maybe you do this too- conscious or unconsciously. I am not as pretty or as smart as he is. I'm not as successful or as important as she is. Does my life count for anything? Am I as spiritual as she is? Why can't I be more joyful about God?

    In Corinthians 12:7-31, we are told that as followers of Jesus, each of us is important, and we are all part of one body. Just as each part of our physical body serves a purpose (no matter how small or how trivial it may seem), each of us has a purpose. God made each person unique. If we were all the same, how could we help each other grow?

    Each of my shoes are different. One is a pair of strikingly-red stilettos, another pair is a sweet tan-colored flat sandals. Some of my heels are very comfortable to wear as it provides support to the arches of my feet. And a surprising fact I found out is that some flat shoes could also pose health problems since it leaves the feet without support on the arches. Similarly, we don't all have the same qualities. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Someone else may be prettier, but she might not have the gift or talent you posses. We need to aacept our differences and count them as blessings!

    God made you just the way you are. Don't try to be someone else.